He Will Not Leave You Comfortless

I was thinking about how weird it was that my sisters seem to be more upset about this whole situation than I am, when I realized that that is a direct blessing from God.  He is lifting me up so I don't fall into despair.  I feel calm about it.  I'm still worried about the risks and about my children, but I can already see the blessings pouring in.

The most obvious blessing so far has been the doctor.  After receiving the help to access the doctor that had been recommended to us, my mother in law texted me that she had "coincidentally" just written Dr. Reichman's name down after one of her friends had been saying what a good brain surgeon he is a couple of weeks before.  That was such a confirmation that we chose the right doctor.  Thank you for being inspired, Wendy!

I then discovered today that my father is having spinal surgery on monday.
Guess who is operating on him? You guessed it… Dr. Reichman.  I had no clue!

After being told that having a biopsy would be really risky in the area of the brain where my tumor is, Dr. Reichman called me this morning and said that he had spent 30 minutes studying my brain. He now has a new plan of how to access the tumor so that there will be less risk of accidentally poking the wrong area and causing motor skills issues.  He decided that he is going to cut away a part of my skull the size of the top of a coke can and go in from the top of my brain right in between the two hemispheres to get a piece of the tumor.  He said this is a much safer side to access with less risk and he will be more likely to actually get the needed sample.  Before, he said he was only willing to do one pass and if he didn't get the biopsy he would just stop because it was too risky to keep poking at it.  That would have been really nice to shave my head for the biopsy and come out with no answers.  It is so obvious that he was inspired by the Holy Ghost.  I'm really lucky to have God as my brain surgeon.  I hear he's the best.

Take a look of the picture I posted above… the round, light colored blob by the pen tip and mouse cursor is my tumor. The plan is… Dr Reichman will insert a needle into the top of my skull down to the tumor and extract a sample, then immediately have a pathologist standing by tell him whether or not the piece of my brain he extracted is indeed the tumor. If successful… great, if not, he'll close me up and proceed with radiation. I feel strongly that his hands will be guided and that it will be a successful operation.

Your prayers are making a real difference in my life. I will be forever indebted to you all.  Thank you so much for contributing to saving my life.  And thank you to all of you who have shared my blog.  I am getting friend requests and supportive messages from strangers that are also praying for my family.  There are so many people in this world that care about others and wish them well. That is nice to see.

Dr. Reichman gave us some other interesting bits of information.  Chemo for brain cancer doesn't make you feel sick, apparently.  That is one worry to cross off the list.  I am having the biopsy this Friday the 2nd.  My awesome friend Ashley Fiorilli suggested that we have a fast once a week for me.  That would be unhealthy and way too much, but anyone that was willing to fast on Friday would bless my life and I would appreciate it a lot.  Ashley is partially responsible for helping me meet my husband, so a shout out to Ashley and Meg for that!

To anyone not familiar with LDS beliefs, we typically fast the first Sunday of every month. We abstain from food and drink for 24 hours or two meals.  We start and end with a prayer.  We usually have a specific objective in mind like a person we are praying for or a blessing we are in need of.  We donate the money we would have spent on the two meals to the Church.  Some people donate much more than that amount.  The bishop collects all of the fast offerings and distributes them to members that are unable to afford food or other necessities.  It is an amazing program.  I believe that if the whole world participated, we could eradicate hunger and poverty in the world.  It is the Lord's way of caring for the poor.  We also believe that our spirit gains more power over our physical appetites and passions every time we fast.  It shows a great deal of commitment and devotion to the Lord.  We believe that spiritual power flows from this commitment and that we and our loved ones will be blessed and strengthened from it.  I'm not usually one to ask for such a sacrifice from friends and neighbors, but in this situation I am willing to accept help.  Thank you to those that have already fasted, especially the children!  My children have fasted for people in these types of situations and it is very touching to see a young child do such a selfless act with such faith.

One negative aspect of the conversation with the doctor was that he said my current condition could be permanent.  The tumor may have caused permanent damage to that part of the brain.  I actually don't believe that will be the case.  Even if it was, that's not that bad.  I've read on the internet that sometimes other parts of the brain learn how to compensate for a damaged part.  That's my feeling about what will happen.

A couple of weeks ago, in our Sunday youth meeting (I am a youth leader in my church for the sixteen and seventeen year old girls), Sister Kristie Secrist read a story called, "The Pig of Happiness."  If you don't have it, get it!  It is the cutest little story book ever!  Well, based on that story, I've decided to be "The Bald Head of Happiness."  I'm not promising that I won't get frustrated or discouraged or cry, but I do promise that I will be as positive as I feel capable of in any given moment.

Thank you everyone for wanting to help me!  Thank you Heavenly Father for taking care of me!  Thank you Jesus Christ for understanding my feelings and sending me comfort!  Thank you Holy Ghost for prompting my awesome doctor!  Thank you awesome doctor for being awesome!

Oh ya, so I am going in for the biopsy on Friday at Utah Valley Hospital and will be there until probably Monday or Tuesday.  My children's doting grandmother will be caring for them while I am away.  This is not sad, seriously, I'm not kidding when I say that once, my son said these words, "Last night I had a dream that Mom and Dad died and we GOT TO LIVE WITH GRANDMA FOREVER!!!"  With full enthusiasm in his voice!  He really does love me, I swear.  He was very young when he said that and can you blame him?  Grandma was the only one who understood his desperate need for chocolate milk and provided it at every request.  My children are going to be so well taken care of.  Having family close by is an incredible blessing right now!  I'm so sorry that my sickness is taking my mother away from being there for my Aunt Cheri and Uncle Steve who just lost their youngest son after his open heart surgery.  His funeral is Friday and my mom is just as unwilling to leave my side now as she was when I was a nursing infant.

After the biopsy surgery we have to wait ten days to find out the type of tumor.  Then the treatments will begin-radiation or chemo.

Love to everyone!  You will certainly all be blessed for your loving concern and desire to serve me!


John 14:17-19 "Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seethe him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth in you, and shall be in you.  I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.  Yet a little while, and the world seethe me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also."